I Wish to God

I don’t know if writing helps

Or if the Therapist helps

I guess I want easy answers

And I want to feel better

And sometimes burying things down is the only way to not feel like my heart is being ripped out

When I write I feel the pain

When I speak to my therapist I feel the pain.

Actually I feel it more afterwards.

It’s like I talk first and then the emotions follow

And I hate having to feel when what I feel hurts so bad.

I self regulate

Tell myself what to feel and how to feel

I never let myself feel the full breadth.

To say what I feel deep down is not acceptable.

There’s no one i can tell.

So I bury it down and wish to God every day it would die

I wish to God I could forget it. I wish to God I could forget it.