The Dilemma of Lost Time

Self discovery and inner work are not priorities in our culture. Our culture is geared toward turning kids into adults. The goal is to fit children into the molds that will make them productive workers when they come of age. The emphasis is upon the outer with no thought at worst, and secondary consideration at best, of the inner condition of the human. And generally, the only time the inner becomes a priority is when it interferes with the outer routine.

I say this is bullshit. The purpose of my life cannot be boiled down to getting married, working a job, and bringing more children into this world who will reproduce the pattern. The purpose of my life is to discover who I am and share that person with others in a healthy way (and vice versa).

Behold the content and essence of our education. It is to memorize the facts that the powers that be deem necessary for us to know and assimilate in order to fit their pattern. We are taught what to think. We aren’t taught how to think. We aren’t allowed to indulge the curiosity that leads to discovery. Whether of ourselves or the world around us.

And if we ever get to a place where self discovery and inner work become a priority we find that we have miles and depths of current to swim against. We begin far behind the starting line. We find that we have lived our lives and made most of our decisions in conformity with a system that cares little for us as individuals. We come head to head with the dilemma of lost time.

I am no expert at solving this dilemma. And I am writing this mostly to draw attention to its’ reality. We must learn how to continue to seek self knowledge, discovery, and realization in a more limited environment than the one we might have found ourselves in had we started this work early in our lives. We must find creative way of subverting the dehumanizing system while existing within it. Cheers to this struggle!

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  1. I agree wholeheartedly, but now that we’ve raised a child with these priorities it’s a little more complicated. He’s smart and curious, widely read, creative and compassionate; he works hard, takes initiative when out of work to find another job, but has no interest in playing the neoliberal achievement game. On top of this he’s sensitive and introverted. We’ve raised a beautiful human being, but it’s unclear how he’ll find a way in this world.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m still trying to to find a way in this world. Most likely my wife and I will have to work in some capacity till we drop. It is difficult raising our son in this culture and environment. We send him to public school. I support public education and teachers. But I hate the form of education the state forces down our kids throats. So in some ways we prepare him for life in this system while still trying to instill counter cultural and subversive values. Sometimes I wish we did more of the latter. I’m actually really conflicted about this right now. I’ve been feeling more anti-civilization lately, as opposed to the working class industrialized anarchism I generally ascribe to. So I’m trying to integrate, or synthesize, the two. As things get more desperate I feel like my worldview and ideology, and hopefully praxis, will continue to change.

      Liked by 1 person

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