i am nothing

I am nothing. Just as I’ve always been.

Not an illusion, only a delusion

Not even a dream or a distant memory

Maybe a rumor. But one that was never told let alone spread

Only if I was once alive could I then be dead.

For a moment I thought I was alive. For a short season I felt like I was something

That was the illusion. That was the dream

That was the memory that remains unseen

That was the rumor.

If sadness and pain are the deepest and most consistent part of me

I’d rather not be.

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3 Comments

  1. ” People were standing up everywhere shouting, “This is me! This is me!” Every time you looked at them they stood up and told you who they were, and the truth of it was that they had no more idea who or what they were than he had. They believed their flashing signs, too. They ought to be standing up and shouting, “This isn’t me! This isn’t me!” They would if they had any decency. “This isn’t me!” Then you might know how to proceed through the flashing bullshit of this world.”
    – Philip Roth

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  2. I’ll be honest: When I saw the title of this post in my inbox it immediately made me think of that girl who came to MZ and sang, “I am nothing, Lord.” Remember that one?

    Like

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